YOGA CLASS INSTRUCTOR: And now we go into downward dog *loud thud GARY WHO IS A T-REX: I'm ok. I'm ok. It's just a bloody nose.

[Twister] DOG 1: left paw green DOG 2: i told u this was a terrible idea DOG 1: cmon Jim just pick the green one DOG 2: THEYRE ALL GREY GARY

Gary and the Parrot. Gary owns a pet shop. One day a customer by the name Stacy walks in and is looking around and fancies a parrot. Looking at this Gary says, that the parrot can talk fluently. Stacy: What do you think about me dear parrot? Parrot: Stacy, You are one big Slut. Stacy and Gary are shocked. Gary takes the parrot to the back of the shop and finds a big bucket of water and dunks the parrot in it. Gary: Are you going to talking trash? Parrot: Of Course Gary. Again parrot is dunked in…

[Long] A family of four decides city life doesn’t suit their style anymore So they sell their house in the suburbs and buy a dairy-cow ranch. After a week or so, the dad and 2 sons are out mending the fences, when their neighbor comes driving up the road and stops to introduce himself. “How y’all doin? The name’s Al, friends call me Big Al. Are you folks new to the trials and tribulations of ranching?” The father said yes, and the pleasantries continued until Big Al asked if the family ranch …