No, I can't make it to your hair washing party tonight. I'm washing my h... erm i mean my dog ate my grandmother is dead.

me and grandma are eating bread pudding and watching murder mysteries, she says what's up

At grandma's. Which means this morning I woke up at 8:45am and was still greeted with, "Look who's finally up. We thought you were dead!"

"ranch goes with everything" i whisper while placing a bottle of ranch in grandma's coffin