DATING TIP: Pick up the check. Pick up the table. Pick up the chairs and the waitress and the bartender. Everyone loves upper body strength.

[girl chatting up guy at bar] girl: so what do you do? magician: i halve a girlfriend

Me: Can I get you a drink? Her: I have a boyfriend. Me: Lady, I'm the bartender.

I'm 89% certain I'm technically still dating at least 3 women from the late 90's early 2000's cause I left for beer and never came back