😄 [Leaving ballgame] Officer: have you been drinking? Me: Yes, but I assure you officer I can't afford...

Me: Define Illegal Cop: You're drunk, riding a horse, shooting a gun and yelling 'For Narnia' Me: I want my lawyer.

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Cop: Have you been drinking? Me: *sips beer Cop: That was stupid. Me: So was your question.

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HEY OFFICER, STOP SCREAMING AT ME TO PULL OVER, I'M DRUNK NOT DEAF

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Cop: License and registration please. Me: Give me a second, I'm drunk. Cop: Sir, have you been drinking? Me: No.

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