Me: Define Illegal Cop: You're drunk, riding a horse, shooting a gun and yelling 'For Narnia' Me: I want my lawyer.

You young couples with your dogs, your trial children, you'll learn nothing about parenting because you can never teach a toddler to "sit".

COP: The killer wrote a message on the victim's mirror ME: You can't prove it was me COP: It was written in Dorito dust ME: I want a lawyer

As a young child my mom told me I could be anything I wanted to be. It turns out that the police call this identity theft.