This Halloween I will be dressing up as Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 by RSVPing to all possible parties & attending absolutely none of them.

I don't even have a theory where Malaysia is.

"Whats the deal with all this airline food?" -Sharks in Malaysia

Things safer than flying Malaysia Airlines: -Badger juggling -Heroin enemas -Grenade soup -Live cobra condoms -Roman candle tampons -Ebola