Gonna get my girlfriend a pickaxe for Valentine's Day. Because she's a Minor

I told my gf she'd look hotter with her hair back. Apparently, that is an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient. I don't know why she's so upset, I'm the one that's gotta find a new girlfriend. She has her whole life to get her hair back, I only have 153 days until Valentine's Day. (Combined 2 jokes I heard plus added the last part).

I baked my girlfriend something for Valentine's Day It was a creampie

I got my girlfriend the perfect Valentine's Day present today. Hand lotion.