😄 Being popular on Facebook is like being the smartest kid in summer school.

For parents, college is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you or they'll send your kid back.

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It's exhausting typing "NO ONE GIVES A SHIT" to all your friends' baby pics on Facebook.

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Auto correct changed "absence" to "absinthe" and now my kid's school won't let me be on the PTA.

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*Comments on Facebook picture* "That headband your baby is wearing really accentuates her baldness."

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