I will be doing some themed jokes from now on. Theme 1: Business A frog goes into the bank and asks the teller for a loan. The teller tells the frog to see Mr. Paddywack, the loan officer. Mr. Paddywack looks at the frog and says, ""What do you have for collateral? "" The frog pulls out of his pocket a solid silver elephant. Mr. Paddywack looks at the elephant and says, ""I don't know. I'm going to have to ask Mr. Larson, the bank manager to approve this. "" He goes into Mr. Larson's office and …

Dead pig found in front of the church The local priest called the police because a dead pig was left outside the front door of the church. When police arrived they were rather annoyed for having to deal with the problem. One officer pulled the priest aside and said ""it is really important that we do this for the community."" ""Indeed it is"" the priest replied. ""But I don't get it, I thought the priests took care of the dead?"" ""We do"" the priest replied, ""But we always notify the family fi…

A guy is driving 90 mph down the highway... ...and he has a penguin in the front seat. A cop catches him speeding and pulls him over down the road. He approaches the car and notices the penguin in the car and asks, ""What the hell is this!?"" The driver replies, ""Well, it's a penguin, officer!"" The cop yells at him to take it to the zoo, writes him a speeding ticket, and drives off. The very next day, on the same stretch of highway, the same cop is posted looking for speeding vehicles. He noti…

And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach and green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives. And Satan created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the 99-cent double-cheeseburger. And Satan said to Man, ""You want fries with that?"" And Man said, ""Super size them."" And Man gained pounds. And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure that man found so fair. And Satan froze the yogurt, and he…