500 dollars Dave, Carl and Carl's wife, sara were playing cards on Thursday morning. Dave's card fell under the table and when he went down to get it, he saw that Sara was not wearing underwear. Dave got back up and went to kitchen to get some refreshment. Sara followed her into the kitchen and asked, "did you like what you saw under there?". Shocked by her boldness, Dace hesitantly replied positively. Sara then said, "you can have it but it costs $500" Dave agreed to pay that sum for it. S…

Just spent 15 minutes explaining football to my 5-year-old daughter. Now I think I'll go explain health care reform to the cat.

(Standing next to pool with a golf club and horse) Friends: Are you sure you've played water polo before?

I used to complain about crying babies on airplanes but last week I was flying, both pilots died & a crying baby landed us on a soccer field