An englishman, a welshman, and an irishman are sitting on a small plane headed for England. They're all going to live in England. The pilot says they hit a jetstream, and need to lose dead weight, or else they'll crash. The welshman grabs an urn and throws it off. ""Those were the remains of my wife. She was a great woman. Eh, there's tonnes of women in England"" The irishman grabs a keg and throws it off. ""That was the last keg o' beer I made before my brewery burned down. So many memories. Eh…

An elderly couple's road trip around south east England *(Note for those unfamiliar with the British road network: 'A' roads are main, or arterial, roads and they are all identified by 'A' and a number.)* An elderly man is driving his wife on a road trip around the south east of England. Shortly after getting on to the A2, a police car signals them to pull over, and the old man obliges. The police officer walks up to the driver's side and the old man winds down the window. The policeman asks him…

I'd probably die of starvation in England I heard that face sitting is illegal.

[Long Winded] So the local church bell ringer dies. There is a small village in rural England, which has a church. In the church lives a priest and the bell ringer. One morning the priest doesn't hear the morning bell ring so he goes to the bell ringers room to check on him. When he enters the room he sees the bell ringer dead in his bed. The priest, although he is upset, makes some flyers about new bell ringer auditions and sticks them to every lamp-post in the village. The next day there is a …