The Five Stages of Christmas Shopping Grief: - denial - anger - strong language - moderate violence - a lifetime ban from Toys R Us

My face is so oily I'm afraid the U.S. is going to invade it

Did you know that if everyone in the U.S. donated just one pint of blood, we could pour it over the Statue of Liberty and be hella cool?

The recent fake excitement of soccer in the U.S. confirms my belief that Americans will pretend to like anything they can scream USA about.