The Five Stages of Christmas Shopping Grief: - denial - anger - strong language - moderate violence - a lifetime ban from Toys R Us

My face is so oily I'm afraid the U.S. is going to invade it

The recent fake excitement of soccer in the U.S. confirms my belief that Americans will pretend to like anything they can scream USA about.

I joke but this Scotland thing is nuts. I mean...imagine if Canada ever tried to secede from the U.S.