Scared the hell out of a stranger by sayin' "good morning" to 'em. That's a thing people used to do. Google it

It's Palm Sunday and we didn't drink the wine out of a coconut? I don't know why this church even has a suggestion box.

Google+ is not a "ghost town", because a town filled with ghosts would actually be fun.

It doesn't matter if I go to church or the gym as long as I can act superior later, right?