I drink Mountain Dew for the protective coating it leaves on my teeth. The kidney stones are a close second.

Three wives are having drinks at bar. After a few drinks they begin comparing their husbands to soda. The first wife says ""Well, my husband would be 7-UP. He's seven inches and straight up."" The second wife thinks for a second and says ""Mountain Dew. He's always mounting me and we're always doing it."" After a couple seconds the third wife says ""My husband would be Jack Daniels."" The first wife says ""Jack Daniels is a liquor, not a soda."" ""Yep, that would my him.""

3 women where having a coffee and some girl talk One of them goes: ""Girls, if you're man was to be compared to a soda brand, what would it be? Mine would be 7UP, because he's 7 hard inches, always up"" ""Well mine would be Mountain Dew since he likes to mount and do me everyday."" says the second. The last one ponders for a second in silence and then adds: ""Well I guess mine would be Jack Daniels"" ""But baby, that's not soda!"" said the other girls ""That's hard liquor!"" ""That's my Leroy!""

Your mom is so dumb.... She tried to climb Mountain Dew