A boy is on the phone with his dad. Why did God make clowns?, the boy asks. Because God wants people to have relief from the drudgery of life., the dad says. Why did he make clowns scary? Oh. The dad says, taken aback. Umm I guess even God has a sense of humor. Why is there a drunk clown outside my bedroom window? Holy shit! Your calling me about religious questions! You call the police.... Right.... Now!

[Science!] How a quantum physicist went to jail. A cop pulled me over once. ""Son,"" he said, ""you know it's illegal to go 90 in a 35-mph zone."" No question mark at all. Being guilty as hell, I naturally smart-assed the reply, ""How can you tell? You see, quantum mechanics tells us that you cannot determine both an object's position and momentum at the same time. As since all the universe is in motion in the grand ballet of planetary motionsof which Earth is but one humble rockposition is a ve…

A employee didn't show up for work A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers,he dialled the employee's cell phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper. ""Hello."" ""Is your daddy home?"" he asked. ""Yes,"" whispered the small voice. ""May I talk with him?"" The child whispered, ""No."" Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, ""Is your Mommy there?"" ""Yes,"" whispered …

The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered, ""Hello?"" Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster, the boss asked, ""Is your Daddy home?"" ""Yes"" whispered the small voice. ""May I talk with him?"" the man asked. To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, ""No."" Wanting to talk with an adult, the b…