Your Mama's So Old her memory is in black & white! 3849. Your Mama's So Old I told her to act her age, and she died! 3850. Your Mama's So Old I asked to see her birth certificate, and she handed me a rock! 3851. Your Mama's So Old she owes Fred Flintstone a food stamp! 3852. Your Mama's So Old Jurassic Park brought back memories! 3853. Your Mama's So Old the key on Ben Franklin's kite was to her apartment! 3854. Your Mama's So Old she has all the apostles in her black book! 3855. Your Mama's So …

SOMEONE LEFT THEIR DOGS IN THE CAR WITH THE WINDOWS ROLLED UP -Ma'am, that's a pack of Ballpark All-Beef Franks. ITS 500 DEGREES IN THERE

"Is that a car alarm going off? Someone must be trying to steal it I better call the police!" - literally no one ever

Feeling sick at work. Subway to the bus-$5 Bus to commuter lot-$2 Puking in my car-$0 Guy in the car next to me puking in response-priceless