America only considers a war a success if we build a Bed Bath and Beyond in the enemy's capital.

Captain America: WHERE ARE YOU WE NEED YOU Black WINDOW: FOR THE LAST TIME YOU GOT THE WRONG NUMBER

Ok America now is our chance to catch up on productivity, health care, math & science while the rest of the world is drunk & watching soccer

We gave you Nickelback and Justin Bieber. You responded with the Kardashians and Honey Boo Boo. Well played America, well played