A priest and a math teacher... die and go to heaven at the same time. St. Peter greets them at the pearly gates, and then shows them to their accommodations. He brings the math teacher to a luxurious mansion, with a hedge maze, marble columns, and a fountain. The priest thinks to himself, ""If the math teacher gets this, imagine what I might get!"" So he follows St. Peter past a row of large houses, a row of suburban houses, a row of small houses, a row of houses for rent, a row of apartment com…

Don't ask... So one fine day, a young boy is listening to the radio. He has very bad reception so the radio is sort of static, nevertheless, he catches something about a purple donut. His curiosity sparked, he meanders over to his mother and said, ""Momma, what's a purple donut?"" She then gets this wild look in her eye an grabs a bat and begins to vigorously beat the boy. She yells, ""Get your ass to school, when you get home your going to the cellar!"" So he walks to school. He has a bloody no…

Jewish and black kid A Jewish and black kid asked his teacher one day ""am I more black or more Jewish?"" The teacher didn't know how to answer, so he told the boy to ask his rabbi. So, the boy asks his rabbi ""am I more Jewish or more black?"" The rabbi told him to ask his mother. So the boy ran home and asked his mom ""am I more Jewish or more black?"" The mom tells him to go ask his father. So the boy goes to his dad and says ""dad, my teacher told me to ask my rabbi who told me to ask my mom…

Little Johnny A teacher in Sunday school once asked Little Johnny, ""Johnny, do you believe in the Devil?"" ""No,"" said Little Johnny knowledgeably. ""It's just like with Santa Claus. I know it's really my dad.""