Don't feel like going to the gym? Go to all your ex's facebook pages and see who they're dating now. Then go to the gym.

Facebook: Hey remember this pic of your dog that died? Me: Damnit Facebook not now. FB: Sorry... FB: Your ex girlfriend is getting married.

My high school girlfriend got "uses her kids as her facebook profile picture" fat.

If Osama Bin Laden really wanted to cripple America he'd attack Facebook