[Doctor's Office] Sir, it appears you have takes-everything-literally disease. "Is it bad, doc?" Yes, but bear in mind- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[Doctor's Office] Doctor: The bad news is you have 3 months to live. Me: What's the good news? Doctor: You should make it til Shark Week

[Doctor's Office] Seal: My flippers are sore. Killer Whale Doctor: Hmm interesting, swim a little closer into my jaws- I MEAN ONTO THE TABLE

A Young Brunette Goes into the Doctor's Office A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. ""Impossible"" says the doctor, ""show me"". She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so it goes on. The doctor says, ""You're not really a brunette are you? You're really a blonde"". She says ""Yes, doctor"". ""I thought so."" the doctor says, then continues: ""…