"I'm not drunk, I'm a zombie..." ~Me passing out candy on Halloween#Holiday#Bar#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
I'm not sure who's more drunk, me or the guy wrapped in Christmas lights standing in the mirror.#Holiday#Bar#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
9: What are you going to be for Halloween dad? me: Drunk 9: What's mom gonna be? me: Mad#Holiday#Parents#Bar#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
The best part about Christmas Eve is when grandma gets drunk and tries to fight everyone.#Holiday#Aging#Bar#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
The last time I was this drunk and covered in glitter, it had nothing to do with Christmas.#Holiday#Bar#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp