I feel like Trump and Hillary are two divorced parents fighting over custody of us but we kinda just wanna go live with grandma.

OK I GOT TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS WHOLE HILLARY EMAILS THING. TURNS OUT THEYRE LIKE A FAST KIND OF MAIL THAT GOES IN THE COMPUTER.

[backstage at GOP debate] AIDE: Mr. Trump needs his hair. CAT: I'm puking as fast as I can.

Mr. Trump, what will you do as President? TRUMP: I'll outlaw shredded cheese and only sell blocks Why? TRUMP: To make America grate again