Texting while driving: Bad. Wrestling a shark while driving: STILL LEGAL! WOOHOOO!!!

"David you're late again!" "Sorry boss.." [cut to: me running on all fours through a forest chasing deer] "...traffic"

I just hit a duck with my car. Wasn't even in it. Incredible strength.

My mind's telling me "No!" But my body, my body's telling me "There's that chicken salad in the fridge."