Three priests and their wives die in a plane crash... So three priests and their wives are flying back from an interdenominational conference when the plane crashes and they all die. They all arrive at the pearly gates at the same time. St. Peter says to the first priest, "I am sorry, but I cannot let you in. You adored sugar and sweets. You had the biggest sweet tooth, and was so involved with sugar and sweets that you married a woman named Candy." Off they go to hell. St. Peter then addr…

I just wish my ex-wife could look down from Heaven and see me now. But no, she's still alive.

[wife gets in the car after talking with the priest] "What did the priest have to say?" "He said you have to stop rapping over the choir."

ANIMAL CONTROL: what the hell were you thinking ME: releasing birds at a wedding is romantic ANIMAL CONTROL: you released ostriches