what if family matters took place today.... urkel would make an app. laura would have a blog. eddie listens to podcasts. carl is on atkins

A woman sees an ad for labioplasty in the paper... ... So she she decides to get the operation, so her husband can enjoy the tightness of her youth. After the operation, she wakes up with three roses on her chest. Curious, she asks the nurse, ""who are the roses from?"" ""Well,"" says the nurse, ""The first rose is from your husband. He wanted to thank you for undergoing the operation, and he said he's looking forward to enjoying the results."" ""and the second rose?"" asks the woman. ""That's f…

The simple rules of dating A farmer, Bill, finds out that his three daughters all have dates on the same night. Being protective, as a father is of his girls, he does the respectable thing, and walks to the door each time with his shotgun. At 7pm, the doorbell rings. Bill answers the door and asks the boy there what he wants. The boy nervously says ""Hello sir, I'm Eddie. I've come to get Betty. We're going out for spaghetti. Is she ready?"" Bill decides this boy has good intentions and lets Bet…

So my friend Eddie Wong was trying to build a homemade aeroplane... ...and he told me he was going to ask his brother for help. I told him,""That'll never work. Ask Phil instead."" ""Why?"" ""You see Eddie, two Wongs can never make a Wright.""