A teacher I had in high school told me this one. It may better when told out loud rather than read, but it's still funny. A guy wearing nothing but plastic wrap walks into a psychiatrist's office. The psychiatrist looks at the man and says, ""Well, I can clearly see your nuts""

a Doctor arrives at the pearly gates.... St. Peter asks him who he is, he replies ""I'm a surgeon, I help the crippled to walk and the blind to see"" Come on in, St Peter says. Next a teacher shows up, St Peter asks who he is, ""I'm a Teacher, I help educate the ignorant and prepared them for successful careers"". St Peter says ""come on in"". A musician comes along St Peter asks who he is, and he says ""I was a Musician, I make depressed people happy and I give lonely people a reason to go out …

Teacher persuasion, failed. The children had all been photographed for their high school picture, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. ""Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say,"" There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or ""That's Michael, he's a doctor.'"" A small voice at the back of the room rang out, ""And there's the teacher. She's dead.""

Rave culture: A professor rushes two of his students to the maternity ward and says to the doctor... ""Brah! My pupils are super dilated right now!""