That moment when you're driving and tweeting and you look up and notice you're in the Atlantic Ocean.

*looks east* ah, the atlantic ocean *looks west* ah, the pacific ocean *sees a bunch of idiots raving about mediocre r&b* ah,the Frank Ocean

Will you date me? breathe if yes, swim across the atlantic ocean while reciting the bible in japanese if no

Portuguese man finds magic lamp A Portuguese man walking down the beach stumbles upon a rusty and dirty old lamp. Intrigued, he picks it up and rubs it trying to read the old etchings on the side, and out comes a genie! The genie says: ""You have released me, and for that I will grant you one wish!"" (hey, it's a Portuguese genie, we get shafted all the time, so we only get one wish instead of three) The man thinks for a bit and responds: ""I'd like a highway that connects us all the way to Amer…