Leo's First Oscar Leonardo DiCaprio in the delivery room. Leo: ""What is it doc?!"" Doctor: ""It's a bo-"" Leo: ""NO! NO! LIKE WE REHEARSED!"" *Doctor sighs, handing the baby boy to Leo* Doctor: ""And the ""Oscar"" goes to Leonardo DiCaprio for the role of Father in Conception.

When I was a child, I wanted to be a surgeon. But apparently I was too young!!

Every time you hire a clown for a kid's birthday party, a therapist gets a new car.

kid doctor: [looking over charts] im not going to lie this is the worst case of cooties ive ever seen little girl: he said he'd been tested!