A cash bar on parent / teacher interview nights would be a great fundraiser for schools.

[parent/teacher meeting] "you must've read to him as a baby" *leans forward in little desk* lady, I didn't even know him when I was a baby

[school teacher job interview] Can I ask you some questions? I don't know CAN you? haha impressive [stands] welcome aboard!

A teacher I had in high school told me this one. It may better when told out loud rather than read, but it's still funny. A guy wearing nothing but plastic wrap walks into a psychiatrist's office. The psychiatrist looks at the man and says, ""Well, I can clearly see your nuts""