Gentlemen...BEHOLD! Puns. What do you call a cool mushroom?...A fun guy!!! A neutron walks into a bar. ""I'd like a beer"" he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. ""How much will that be?"" asks the neutron. ""For you?"" replies the bartender, ""no charge"" A guy walks into a restaurant, and takes a seat. Across the room he see's a panda bear eating a large pile of bamboo. Upon finishing the bamboo a waiter comes to the pandas table. The panda then shoots the waiter in the head, gets u…

An Old Lady Walks Down the Street with 20 Dollar Bills Spilling from Her Bags... A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, ""Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."" ""Oh, really? Darn it!"" said the little old lady. ""I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me office…

I tried to catch the essence of American football It's like you got a pretty big can of cold beer and on the other side of field your best buddy dying from hangover

My Old Teammate Ron. So when I was in high school we had a standout basketball player (Ron) who was destined to be in the NBA in his life. As a sophomore, he was 6'7"" 230, super athletic and was a star in any sport he played, but he loved basketball the most. One night he was out celebrating after a win and his buddy was driving drunk and wrecked. Ron wasn't wearing his seat belt and was thrown from the vehicle. He suffered a lot of serious injuries, but what was devastating was that they had t…