I was talking to a farmer in a pub.... I was in a pub out the back of nowhere, with a mate, and we struck up a great conversion with an old farmer at the bar. I asked him to tell us a bit about himself, and he told is this great story. ""See, I loved tractors, right, ever since I was a little kid, my dad would take me out to lots of tractor shows around the state, and to my favourite, tractor towing contests"". I had no idea that this was a thing, and so I asked him about it. ""It's tug of war, …

Three Beers A soldier, Mikey, has just been re-located to a new small town to serve. He decides he needs a drink and wanders over to the local pub. Mikey has a seat and the bartender strolls over, ""What'll it be, boy?"" Mikey replies, ""3 beers, please."" Bartender pours the 3 beers and brings them over to Mikey. Mikey has a sip out of the first beer, a sip out of the second, and a sip out of the third. Sip out of the first, the second, the third. He continues to drink the 3 beers this way unti…

The best situation set-up I've ever heard in real life.. My army platoon was training a decade ago when this happened, I still laugh about it today. I'll not use names, just ranks. We had just finished a mission and field maintenance and had about an hour of down-time before our next briefing, so the whole platoon was in a tent sitting on cots in a circle just bullshitting. One of the sergeants, a particularly vulgar guy, starts telling some nasty and offensive jokes which starts the whole pl…

When I was a kid. I used to come home drunk & beat my Dad.