Being a software engineer is pretty cool because I can just stare at my screen/zone out & if anybody questions me I say I'm optimizing code

A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband to ""Please be gentle; I'm still a Virgin"".... ""What?"" said the puzzled groom. ""How can that be if you've been married ten times?"" ""Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be. ""Husband # 2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function; but he said he'd look into it and get back…

The Mechanical Engineer, Project Manager and the Software Enginner A Mechanical Engineer, Project Manager and the Software Engineer were driving down a mountain when suddenly the car slides off the road and rolls down the Mountain. Amazingly none of the occupants had been hurt. The Mechanical Engineer steps out and says hand me my Swiss army knife I will have this repaired in no time and we can be on our way. The Project Manager says Wait Up, We need to set achievable goals, set a timeline and e…

An engineering student moved back into his parent's house after graduating He spent a lot of his time hidden away in his room playing games and arguing with strangers on the internet. One day, he was having a particularly heated conversation on a forum about why Kilograms are a better unit of measurement than Pounds. Then his mother suddenly opened the door without knocking. Shocked, she let out a gasp and quickly turned away as he frantically closed all the tabs in his browser. Maybe that seems…