It's not just the way you tell em: researchers find the official 50 funniest jokes of all time 6. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off. 5. I said to the Gym instructor ""Can you teach me to do the splits?"" He said, ""How flexible are you?"" I said, ""I can't make Tuesdays"" 4. A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and…

OLD AGE AND TREACHERY WILL OVERCOME YOUTH AND SKILL EVERY TIME! A father, son and grandson went to the country club for their weekly round of golf. Just as they reached the first tee, a beautiful young blond woman carrying her bag of clubs approached them. She explained that the member who brought her to the club for a round of golf had an emergency that called him away and asked the trio whether she could join them. Naturally, the guys all agreed. Smiling, the blonde thanked them and said, 'Loo…

I stuck a "Baby On Board" sign on my minivan to warn the other drivers how fussy and tantrum-y I get when traffic's bad or I miss my nap.

Avoid cars that have a sign saying 'baby on board'. That driver has only had a couple of hours sleep and is likely to be suicidal.