If I had a dime for every time a homeless person asked for money, I'd still say no. - Bo Burnham.

What are your best "If I had ____ for every time..." jokes? Two of my favorites are: 1. "If I had a dollar for every existentialist moment I've ever had...Does money even matter?" - Can't remember the comedian. 2. "If I had a quarter every time a hobo asked me for spare change, I'd still say no" - Bo Burnham

Apparently for every $1 a man makes, a woman makes 70 cents. That's not fair. Why is the man only left with 30? Credit to Bo Burnham.

Jokes so Bad that They're Funny The midget psychic broke out of prison. He was a small medium at large. A boiled egg in the morning is really hard to beat. Newspaper headline reads: Cartoonist found dead at home. Details are sketchy. I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forget how it goes. Here's a poem by a dog (Bo Burnham): Roses are grey, violets are another shade of grey, let's go chase cars. The frustrated cannibal threw up his hands. What did the cannibal get when he showed up t…