Parish priest A priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner. He was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited. ""I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told…

Proof A retired gentleman went to the social security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver's license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home. ""I will have to go home and come back later."" The woman says, ""Unbutton your shirt."" So he opens his shirt revealing curly silver hair. She says, ""That silver hair…

Married for 60 years, and .... There was once a man and woman who had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoebox in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about. For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover. I…

An Italian man is on his deathbed... An old Italian man in Brooklyn is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside. ""Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated 38 revolver so you will always remember me."" ""But grandpa, I really don't like guns. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"" ""You lissina me, boy! Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos. Then one-a day you g…