I call McDonald's to make a reservation for Valentine's Day, just to listen to the stammering and confusion from the kid answering the phone

For Halloween I'm just gonna talk shit to complete strangers and go as the internet.

[Halloween] Lady: what are you this this year? Me: *dressed as a phone battery meter* I'm at 10% and it's only 7pm. Lady: *faints*

I received this computer for Christmas yesterday. I'm already ashamed of the things it has seen.