Lawyer joke * Lawyer: ""Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"" * Witness: ""No."" * Lawyer: ""Did you check for blood pressure?"" * Witness: ""No."" * Lawyer: ""Did you check for breathing?"" * Witness: ""No."" * Lawyer: ""So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"" * Witness: ""No."" * Lawyer: ""How can you be so sure, Doctor?"" * Witness: ""Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."" * Lawyer: ""But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"" * Witness: ""Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."" taken from an actual court record