Brian Sullivan, top bloke A man walked out to the street and caught a taxi just going by. He got into the taxi, and the cabbie said, ""Perfect timing. You're just like Brian"" Passenger: ""Who?"" Cabbie: ""Brian Sullivan. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happen like that to Brian Sullivan, every single time."" Passenger: ""There are always a few clouds over everybody."" Cabbie: ""Not Brian Sullivan.. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."" Passenger: ""Sounds like he was something really special."" Cabbie: ""There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Brian Sullivan, he could do everything right."" Passenger: ""Wow. Some guy then."" Cabbie: ""He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Brian, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Brian Sullivan."" Passenger: ""An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"" Cabbie: ""Well, I never actually met Brian. He died. I'm married to his f****ing' widow.""