A joke my dad told me in polish, I'll translate. 3 men where discussing the fastest things in the universe. One man says ""it's the human thought, because you think about stuff and you don't even know when it happened"" The second man says ""no, light is faster because you flip the switch and before you can even think about it, it's there"". The third man says ""no no no, it's diarrhea, because before I can think about it, and before I can even turn on the lights, I shit my pants!""