A little boy... Nfw'ish So a little boy ran past a cop screaming bloody murder so the cop grabs him by the arm and settles him down. Holding onto his shoulders he look in the boys tear stained eyes and asks ""son what happened?"" The boy snivels up a snot bubble and answers the cop ""Well officer you see my mom always told me to never look at women more beautiful then her or else i would be turned to stone like medusa"" The cop puzzled asks ""ok but why were you screaming?"" The replies ""well i…

Jim's car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over... Jim's car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over, ""Step out of the car"" says the cop, ""I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test."" ""I can't"", Jim responds ""You see I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack."" ""Alright,"" says the cop, ""then you're going to have to take a blood test."" ""Can't do that either,"" Jim responds, ""I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won't stop bleeding…

(Long)A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas.... The banks offered a reward for his capture, dead or alive, but offered a much larger award for the recovery of the stolen funds. An enterprising Texas Ranger decided to track him down. After a long and difficult search, he traced the bandit to his home town. On a hunch, he checked the town's cantina, and sure enough, there was the robber. The only other people in the bar were the b…

There was a man in Ukraine who operated a train for a living. He showed up to work one day extremely drunk and starting hitting people on the tracks, killing a few before he was caught and arrested. State law deemed that death via the electric chair was an acceptable punishment for his deeds. The day he was put to death, they asked him for any last meals. His only request a single banana. They obliged, gave him his banana, and put him on the chair. The chair was activated, and to the executioner…