Joe Biden is in the White House kitchen right now licking every piece of silverware and putting them back in the drawer

Richard Nixon makes a really awful dinner for his wife. He defends himself by saying ""I am not a cook"".

[first date] Him: You're amazing! I'm having a great time! Me: I will fight you for the rest of this pizza.

I'll usually order the chicken sandwich. I like my food to be more cowardly than I am.