[MURDER TRIAL] JUDGE: So in 27 years of marriage, you never knew your wife was allergic to salt? MR.SLUG:[Into mic] That's correct.

Judge: You're sentenced to death. You'll be hung. Wife from the back: HE'S ALREADY HUNG. Me: Your Honor uncuff me so I can high five my wife

[murder trial] LAWYER: So you unplugged your wife's life support for five minutes? COMPUTER TECH: Sometimes that works.

You bastard A judge working a double-homicide case tells the defendant, ""You're charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer."" ""You bastard!"" yells a voice from the back of the courtroom. ""You're also charged with killing your mother-in-law with a hammer,"" says the judge. ""Bastard!"" the same person yells. The judge addresses the man sitting in the back of the courtroom.""Sir, one more outburst and I'll charge you with contempt."" ""I'm sorry, Your Honor,"" says the man. ""But I'…