Me: Define Illegal Cop: You're drunk, riding a horse, shooting a gun and yelling 'For Narnia' Me: I want my lawyer.

Fired from my court room sketch artist job, for putting thought bubbles on people's heads saying "The court room sketch artist is so hunky."

If you roll out your chapstick more than an inch, I'll see you in court.

You young couples with your dogs, your trial children, you'll learn nothing about parenting because you can never teach a toddler to "sit".