Doctor: "Why is my waiting room empty?" Judge: "I hauled everyone off to court" Doctor: "You're trying my patients"

[to other patients in psychiatrist's waiting room] I'm not like you people. This is court mandated.

My doctor said I have about a month left. So I stabbed him. The judge gave me ten to fifteen years. Crisis averted.

The doctor gave me 1 month to live So I shot him. The judge gave me 20 years. Problem solved.