Why are doomsday preppers so good in bed? Everyday news from the front would trickle into our village via fleeing refugees, radio, and telegram. Our army was being beaten from what I could tell, and were in full retreat from the invading Easterners. The Easterners, savage men according to all the adults in my village, and the man in the television. Beings who were rather more beasts than men, beasts that ate babies and burned children alive. My father would tell me stories of these Easterners, s…

A 'Cold War' joke I tought up today... It's early September, 1984. Children around the world are going back to school. Despite living on opposing sides of the Iron Curtain, two Mathematics teachers, one in the United States and the other in the Soviet Union, ask their respective classes the same question. ""OK class."" Said the American teacher, ""If I had three oranges, and I divided them fairly between four children, how many oranges would each child receive?"" Most of the children in his clas…

The Golden Screw (very long) So one day a man and his wife are expecting a baby. As they settle down for the night, the wife suddenly gasps and tells him ""It's time!"" so they hurry out to the car and race to the hospital. After hours that feel like days, she finally gives birth to a healthy baby boy, and as they both gaze lovingly on him they see he has all the right number of fingers and toes, shining bright eyes, and a cute little giggle. In short, a wonderful child. As time passes, they set…

When the kid graduated from high school... his father told him he was going to be a paratrooper. "Dad", he said, "I don't want to jump out of airplanes." "Rubbish", his dad said, "I was a paratrooper. My father, your grandfather, was a paratrooper. And you'll be a paratrooper. Don't worry, they'll teach you all you need to know." So the kid went off to the Air Force. When he returned after basic training, his dad asked him how it went. "Dad, I'm not cut out to be a paratrooper. When I got to …