Call from the doctor's office ""Mrs. Smith, this the your family doctor's office. When we sent your husband's biopsy to the lab yesterday, a biopsy from another Mr. Smith arrived as well, and we are now uncertain which one is your husband's. Frankly the results are either bad or terrible."" ""What do you mean?"" Mrs. Smith asks nervously. ""Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for AIDS. We can't tell which is your husband's."" ""That's drea…

Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss" he says, "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff." "We're short-handed, Smith" the boss replies, "I can't give you the day off." "Thanks, boss" says Smith, “I knew I could count on you!”

My wife tried to apply at the post office but they wouldn't letter. They said only mails work here.

My boss asked me why I'm late, apparently answering "because your wife wouldn't let me get out of bed" just gets you sent to HR.