The Vicar's Opinion (This is unabashedly lifted from a solo standup act by Rowan Atkinson) _______ A young Irish lady of pristine virtue, engaged to be married in a few months, visits the vicar to ask a question of church law. yl: Father, as you know I'm engaged to be married soon... v: Yes, my child? yl: My fiance and I have urges, very strong urges, and while I don't wish to disappoint him I certainly don't want to put my soul in danger. So I was wondering about the church's attitude about other... things. v: We all have urges my dear, it is part of the burden we must carry. What sort of... things... do you mean? yl: This is very difficult. Father, I, er, I would like to ask... hoo! This is not easy. [more resolutely] Father, I must ask... what is the church's attitude toward... fellatio? v: FELLATIO??? yl: Yes, fellatio. v: Well my dear, it's not that I... I would like to advise... I'd like to tell you, but you see, I haven't any idea what fellatio is, I'm sorry. yl: Perhaps it's easier if I demonstrate _______ And from that day on, whenever the vicar was asked ""what is the church's attitude toward fellatio"" the vicar can say: I'd like to tell you, but you see, I haven't any idea what fellatio is!