New Year's Eve is just a myth created by the government to sell you more years

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself...& murderous clowns, & ISIS, & one of these two getting elected President after Halloween.

On Halloween I'm going to let kids decide between raisins and a toothbrush so they know what we're going through with this election.

I can't wait for thanksgiving. It's an election year so that means there will be at least 4 fist fights and someone's getting disowned.