A fat man decides to get in shape A man wants to lose weight, so he calls the number for ""GUARANTEED WEIGHT LOSS!"" that he finds on Google. A representative answers and explains: ""Yes sir, our program is guaranteed to work -- and we have both a basic program and an advanced program."" ""Let me try the basic program, for starters."" the man says. He gives his address, and is told that a trainer will be there within an hour. An hour later his doorbell rings. Standing there is a beautiful woman, wearing nothing but sneakers and a sign that says ""If you can catch me, I'm yours!"" She takes off running and he hurries in pursuit. An hour later he finally catches her - and has her behind some bushes. The next day he calls again: ""The basic program was great!! Now I want to try the advanced program!"" ""Are you sure, sir?"" the rep asks. ""It's extremely strenuous."" ""I'm sure!"" the man replies. An hour later his doorbell rings again. This time there's a huge, hairy muscular man, wearing only sneakers and a sign that says: ""If I can catch you, you're mine!""